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  • Writer's pictureMakenzie Finks

Strong Women: How To Be Happy

Do you think you are strong? It’s a hard question to answer. Especially if you have been having a hard time recently, or a relationship has broken down. We can often feel that we aren’t strong because we cry or we are struggling. The secret is, though, if you are a woman, then you have an incredible superpower within you. You just have to find it and let it out.

We’ve all been there, looking at friends or women we see in the media. The girls that seem so fierce. They have their life in check, and they seem to be able to overcome everything. Some are mothers, and some live alone, others are single and rocking the world without a partner in sight. They aren’t actually any different to us these superwomen. They have just learned to trust in themselves, believe in themselves, and have worked out the key to happiness.

You will have heard multiple times in your life that before you can be really happy with someone else, you need to be happy with yourself. It sounds so easy, doesn’t it? Of course, the reality is, we always compare ourselves to other people, some of us struggle with body confidence, maybe we aren’t getting the promotion we wanted or simply, we just feel like something is missing in our lives. Being happy is the key to your life-changing, and once you start to realize that you are the best version of you there is, that no one else is like you and your uniqueness makes you incredibly special, you will start to feel more powerful, stronger and ready to take on anything with a smile, regardless of whether you are on your own or have someone at your side.

The first step to being happy is to start making positive affirmations in your life. You need to stop looking at what you don’t have, what you wish you had, and what you want. Ignore the temptation to focus on the things that are going wrong for you. When we focus on the negatives, we transmit negative energy out into the world. This upsets the law of attraction! What we feel is what we attract. Have you ever spent the morning worrying about getting caught in traffic on the way to work, really overthinking being late, rushing around with a negative buzz around you to get ready, then just as you are about to leave you spill your coffee on yourself? Or you jump in the car and low and behold! The worst traffic jam you have ever encountered? This is the law of attraction, giving you what you asked for. You sent it out negative energy, so it delivered a negative response.

Finding ways to always have positive thoughts will attract positive actions. Being thankful every morning is a great place to start. Instead of waking up and focussing on your worries, open your eyes, and be grateful for what you have in your life. Focus only on the good things. You could look at using gratitude journal prompts to help you build this mindset. As you start to engage in a positive and grateful thought process, you will find that your energy completely changes, this will result in more favorable situations coming back in your life.

Even the very worst situations can be positive. If you are stuck in traffic due to an accident, be thankful that you aren’t involved in the accident. You have a day ahead of you that you can use in a constructive way. Your family will look forward to you coming home this evening. You may have experienced a relationship breakdown and be left feeling heartbroken, but instead of trying to work out why or being angry about the situation. Be thankful for the experience. Focus on all the positive memories you had and try not to harbor ill feelings. While one chapter in your life has come to an end, a new one that may have a much happier ending is about to start.

Finding something that you love and can do alone is an excellent step to true happiness. This could be a sport or a hobby. It should push you creatively, academically, or physically. It is great to have hobbies that we share with other people but to be truly happy with yourself, you need to enjoy spending time alone.

There is a saying. If you leave a rotten apple in a fruit bowl, then it will turn all the other fruit rotten. This is true of toxic people too. Be careful who you allow in your life. While you shouldn’t build resentment towards anyone, you should keep your eyes open for red flags. There are people who feel so much hate to themselves, that they will be attracted to your personality and will then become jealous. They will try to make you feel as bad as they do, simply to make themselves feel better. Of course, this doesn’t actually work for them, as they aren’t working on themselves. It’s a quick and short term fix. The lasting damage to you, though, could be extensive. No one is your responsibility, and you cannot be held to blame for other people's feelings, insecurities, or envy. Your job is to work on yourself, give the world the best version of yourself and be kind to everyone, including you. When toxic people reveal themselves, it’s vital that you move on, respectfully, and don’t let them affect your mental health or your positivity.

Practicing mindfulness every day will help you to declutter your head and enjoy the moment. You can do this through meditation and yoga or, if you struggle with that, then why not try a sport that demands focus. Mountain biking is great for mindfulness as you need to concentrate on what you are doing. It’s also an adrenalin sport so will give you a massive mood boost too. As a sport that uses almost every muscle group in the body, you will also improve your physical strength and overall fitness levels. This will make you feel lighter, happier, and more focussed which will shine out of you. Finding a passion is a really great way of boosting your mood, and when you talk about it to others, your enthusiasm will be infectious.

One of the best ways to be happy is to do something good for someone else every day. It doesn’t have to be a significant gesture, just be kind. Reach out if you see people struggling, talk to them. Praise people who have been doing amazing things with their life. Happy people tend to spend a lot of their time promoting and supporting others. They benefit in multiple ways. Firstly, it gives them a sense of purpose and achievement. Secondly, other people will start to notice and will react to you in a positive manner. Being seen as someone who is always promoting the best in others is great for you and will leave you feeling like you are making a difference, this gives you a sense of purpose that will make you feel stronger and more positive in everything you do.

Happiness is something that does need to be worked at, we can’t all be happy every second of the day, but we can ensure that we aren’t focussing on the negatives and looking backward in our life. We are incredibly lucky to have the life we do, even if we don’t have exactly what we want yet. If we can celebrate our own life wins, from the tiny ones such as our health, then we can start pushing forward and organically attracting a more rounded and full life.

When you have a bad day, don’t worry. Being aware of all our emotions is part of being strong too. Sometimes, having the strength to cry will push you forward and is the first step to finding some closure to a challenging event. Make sure that you don’t sit and dwell in the feeling though. Accept it, let it out, then be thankful for the strength to move forward. Focus on the things you are grateful for, the beautiful people you have around you, and make the most of every part of your world.

Once you find your happiness and are totally at ease with the fluidity of life, you will discover your female superpower—the strength in you to overcome everything. You’ll also find you have attracted lots of other women, on different parts of their journey. This will give you a sisterhood that will always be there to lift you up and celebrate your successes.

Start today, take small steps, and open your eyes to all the positive and beautiful elements of your life.

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