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  • Writer's pictureMakenzie Finks

Why You're Doing Love Wrong

Valentines Day.

A lot of people can get tied up on what this holiday means. We look around and see what everyone else has and we want it. We want the bouquet full of roses and the huge teddy bears and the expensive jewelry. We are envious that we see friends or even strangers post about these gifts and wonder why we don't have that and we become extremely jealous.

Whether that be jealous of a relationship, jealous of gifts, or jealous of attention. It can be anything or everything. And trust me, it happens to me too. No one is perfect and we all see things that others have and wish they were ours. It's like we think that our life would be totally perfect and happy if our relationship looked like (the one girl you're totally envious of and stalk their Instagram account for daily postings). Yeah we all have that girl. 

Or our boyfriend went to these extreme romantic measures like the movies or maybe we just had enough money to travel to a beautiful, exotic place like some of these other bloggers I follow.

I get it, it's totally normal! But that doesn't make it right. And it doesn't make you feel any better. It honestly can just make you over look what you do have and how loved and cherished you are. It's important to remember that when looking at other people and what they post online or talk about isn't always their reality. Every relationship takes work. Every relationship can be challenging and scary. And most importantly every relationship is different. No matter how you perceive it to be.

We can't compare our lives to the lives of those we watch from afar because we don't know their struggles, their passions, their connections. Everything is different and everything can make people feel different.

What I mean by that is this.... There are different love languages in the world. Everyone loves and experiences love differently. We don't all need some of these things like we think we do or believe we do. There are so many other personal and emotional ways for individuals to connect that doesn't have to be about what Valentines Day is "supposed" to look like. 

I read the book on the 5 love languages and it really helped me understand how I can make my boyfriend as well as my friends and family feel the kind love that they need or deserve. The kind that would fulfill them in the way that wouldn't make them say "Why don't I have this?" I wanted to share because I think it can help a lot of people whether they are in relationships or not, on how to notice when someone is loving them in a way that is all consuming and satisfying but also then how to return the favor for their loved ones.  

As I mentioned earlier, we can sometimes over look the love we already have because maybe our loved ones are using different love languages to show us just how much we mean to them and how much they care about us. In their minds they could already be giving you everything and and you wouldn't know if you didn't stop comparing your life to others and truly notice they things they do for you. 

I promise you, that once you do this you will so happy! You will be able to recognize the passion they are pouring into you and the love they are covering you with. It's freeing to just be completely happy but I know that it isn't just a fix all. There are days you won't feel that way that and days you will still compare your life to others. But, just as long as you keep trying to understand the ones you love and meet them where they are, you will always get through it. 

I love, love.I love the way it can make someone feel. The way it can empower them. The way it can consume and comfort them. I truly think it is one of the most precious things this world has to offer, so when you are lucky enough to have it, go after it. Don't compare. Don't judge. Just appreciate the beauty of your relationship and love deeply. 

I love you all and I will post the Five Love Languages below so you can try and figure out which one you are and which one your loved ones might be! You can also take the quiz and get more details at

1.Words of Affirmation- This language uses words to affirm other people. If this is true for your loved one you could show your love for them on Valentines Day through cards or letters. 

2. Acts of Service- For these people, actions speak louder than words. For Valentines Day you could do their laundry, or cook them dinner. 

3. Receiving Gifts- For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift. For you loved one on V-day you could make them something personal that reminds them of you. 

4. Quality Time- This love language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention. Literally, just sit down and talk to them with no other distractions and tell them how much they mean to you on this Valentines Day. 

5. Physical Touch- To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch. When your out or at home for this V-day grab their hand while walking or give them lots of kisses. 

And remember! If you notice that your loved ones do some of these that is probably their love language so that is how they are showing you their love and affection for you <3 And that is just as precious as getting gifts and going on fancy dates. 

I HOPE YOU HAVE THE BEST VALENTINES DAY EVER LOVES the way that is good for you! Oh and btw I saw Fifty Shades Darker and I totally recommend (; So, that could be a good V-Day date as well! 

Photos were taken by my incredible boyfriend. 


Bottom: LulaRoe- sorry guys but you have to find someone who sells LulaRoe to get these! They have different patterns and prints all of the time and if you need some people I know a ton of girls who sell it (: 

Now I'm going to go tell my amazing boyfriend just how great he is and how thankful I am for the love that he shows me everyday!

xoxo - Kenzie

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